Hearing that everyone prefers Lindsay over me is really harsh. I fucking broke down tonight and I’m still not feeling normal. Its harsh realizing how fucked up I really am. I hate that laine and Caleb heard me cry but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I like to think I’m a good person but maybe I’m really not. This weekend had made me feel so good but now I don’t know what’s going on.
I know I shouldn’t sleep with Ben anymore. Especially since he told me that he’d rather have sex with Lindsay. But its so hard to let go of someone that I really loved. The more that time passes the more I realize that I really did love him.
Its hard to breathe. I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. I need a few mental health days. I can’t keep pretending that stuff doesn’t get to me. Someone help me. I’m exhausted.
— Elay Neal Moses (via perfect)